The menu board spoke to me:
“Sweet Potato soup”
Three magic words on a gray day.
Grateful for many things,
this small thing seemed to glow.
Was I hallucinating or just really hungry?
A bowl of delicious soup,
a lovely soft ginger cookie
and a hot cup of latte ~
all my worries vanished.
“All soup is soul food.”
~ Bee Wilson,
First Bite, How We Learn to Eat
I have carried regrets ~
the maybe’s and what if’s ~
carried them carefully tucked
in my pocket or back pack,
sheltering them
as though they were sugar -
if they got wet they would
melt and dissolve away ~
What if they did?
What would be missing?
Merely a shadow ~
only the weight of the past.
What wisdom will it impart ~
that shadow of past lives that
deserve compassion,
compassion for who I was then,
even if it was only
yesterday or 40 years ago.
So I take the lint from my pockets,
the crumpled tissues from my back pack
where old regrets reside.
Setting them out in the sun
I watch them thaw, dissolve and evaporate
into the nothingness that they always were.
If I’m not careful, I may just catch a tiny
piece of regret and just before it vanishes;
hide it in the folds of my life.
Yet when sunlight leans over my shoulder,
the shadow pen writes with me
in a new harmony of words.
“The shadow escapes from the body like an animal we had been sheltering.”
~ Gilles Deleuze, Francis Bacon: The Logic of Sensation
 |
| March 31, 2021 |
The sun shone brilliantly
this first day of spring,
thawing icy eaves to send
clear water dripping from
roof tops, to run down to
the street and join the puddles
on sidewalks and street corners.
Snowbanks try to hang on
to their little bit of winter, but
shrink slowly in the warm sun.
“With the coming of spring, I am calm again.”
~ Gustav Mahler
It is like the years
have not passed
when we order our meals.
No longer at the cafeteria
in starched uniforms
but at a steak house.
Grandmothers and Aunts
we were students then,
our lives washed with careers,
communities and families
have circled back to
renew laughter and care.
“It is more fun to talk with someone who
doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather
short, easy words like “What about lunch?”
~ A.A.Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
To write poem
when the words
are off in space
is impossible.
I can only imagine
them as stars in the
sky hidden by the
clouds of the night.
“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”
~ Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums
 |
| March 29, 2024 |
I didn’t want to enjoy
walking in the snow today
but my feet belonged to the
child who kicked through
the soft fluff of snow, poked holes
in marshmallow mounds with her cane
Snow had fallen in the night,
piled higher than before,
clearing the streets of the
brown muck of spring.
The sparkling beauty
will disappear
as the sun warms.
Have I complained?
After all it is the middle of March.
Oh yes I have grumbled
and in the same breath
spoke gratefully that
the freezer drawer had been closed.
“No winter lasts forever, no spring skips its turn.”
~ Hal Borland, Nature journalist
Initially I didn’t want to write a review for this movie, because of the opening graphic sex scenes and active drug use. Then I wondered how I would write it, because the story was about Ani’s many attempts to assert herself in her world of subservience ~ and it was full of humour and tenderness. Ani (short for Anora) was one of many escorts in a noisy, bright nightclub called the Headquarters. Private rooms in the back or on another floor were put to good use throughout the night. She and her friends shared a dressing room, and the bickering and secrets of school girls, with many choice words thrown at each other. Despite the glitter and polish, they were just young women doing a job. Sean Baker shows the gritty realism of this side of life. Ani (Mikey Madison) worked hard to earn her money, no matter how tired she got.
The story twists off when Ani is asked to entertain a rich oligarch's son because she spoke limited Russian and none of the others did. After one night together, Ivan (Mark Eydelshteyn) asked her to be his girlfriend ~ for a week. Ani was invited to his home for a wild party. It was really his father’s house and was a grand playground. When immature Ivan wasn’t occupied with sex, or drugs, he was playing video games. They flew to Las Vegas to continue the fun, and while there, he asked Ani to marry him. They were wed in one of the wedding chapels and the happy couple returned to New York. It wasn’t to last! Toros (Karren Karagulian), a priest who was to watch over Ivan was furious when he learned that Ivan’s parents had been notified of the marriage. Ivan’s parents were furious and were flying in from Russia to get the marriage annulled. In the ensuing 24 hours, Ivan ran away, Ani fought off the two thugs (Garnik and Igor) that had come to contain Ivan til his parents arrived, broke Garnik's (Vashe Tovmasyan) nose, threw whatever she could get her hands on, til she was finally tied up with a telephone cord and gagged. Once Toros had Ani calmed, the four of them spent the rest of the evening going from club to club and finally found Ivan, extremely intoxicated and with one of Ani’s adversaries.
Ivan’s parents arrived, the annulment did go through, and Ivan left for Russia with his parents. Ani had gone from happiness to frustration the day before, too angry at her powerlessness in the whole situation. The movie ends when Igor (Yura Borisov) drives her to the plain home she shared with a friend. The final scene of Sean Baker’s movie, was unexpected and touched me deeply.
My difficulty with the nudity, graphic sexuality vanished as I watched Ani in her humanity despite her circumstances. A beautiful movie that I would consider watching again.
“Sometimes you have to pretend to be strong,
even when you’re breaking inside.”
~ Ani, Anora, directed by Sean Baker
Directed by: Sean Baker
Writing Credits: Sean Baker
Produced by: Alex Coco, Samantha Quan, Sean Baker
Abbreviated Cast:
Mikey Madison - Ani (Anora)
Mark Eydelshteyn - Ivan (Russian oligarch's son)
Vincent Radwinsky - Jimmy (Club owner
Aleksey Serebryakov - Nikolai Zakharov (Ivan's father)
Darya Ekamasova - Galina Zakharov (Ivan's mother)
Karren Karagulian - Toros (priest)
Vache Tovmasyan - Garnik (thug)
Yura Borisov - Igor (thug)
Ivy Wolk - Crystal (escort and Ani's best friend)
Lindsay Normington - Diamond (Ani's adversary)
Academy Awards 2025
Original screenplay, film editing, directing and best picture
