Review, Revision, Edit and Update
Reviewing any written work, whether my own or someone else's, shows up any errors, omissions or just plain wordiness. In the first paragraph, the sentence structure needed a lot of revision. I had wondered about this exact revision at the time of the initial posting. The fact that I remembered them, breaking up what had been a long second sentence, suggested to me that it helped the mood of poor Joanie's frustration.
Any other revisions were minor; some sentence restructuring, punctuation fixes were completed.
Abby’s Letter to Santa
Joanie Richardson was crying. Schools had been closed again. It was close to Christmas. She didn’t have any shopping or baking done because of all the online teaching she had to do and homeschooling her own two children. Abby was only five, so that was almost a break, but Ben was ten and needed more structure. No Christmas decorations were up and her mother had been caring for her new husband. She couldn’t call her for any help. James and Martha had only been married a few months and James had been sick in the past week, keeping both of them at home. They did talk over video chatting, but she really needed her mom.
She felt a tug on her sweater just as she was reaching for another tissue to blow her nose. “Mommy, why are you crying?” It was Abby, her five year old daughter. “Oh, it’s nothing, sweetie. I’m just tired.” She dried her eyes and smiled. “You know what? I think that you and I need a cookie and a nap. What do you think?” Abby hugged her mother right where she sat and looked up at her with her big green eyes. “That’s a good idea mommy, and I can reach the cookies now!”
Joanie hadn’t wanted either of her kids to see her cry. She took Abby by the hand and they went to the kitchen. The cookie jar was almost empty. Tears threatened to come flooding out again. “And after our nap, we’ll make more cookies.” Abby obediently took her cookie and went with her mother into her pretty pink and white bedroom. Joanie had barely put her head on the pillow, Abby snuggled up to her, when she fell fast asleep. Abby held real still to make sure her mom was asleep before she slid out from under her mother’s protective arm. She wiggled down to the floor and made sure her mom was covered with the pink coverlet with white clouds on it. Abby crept to the door. Only five years old, she was wise in the ways of slipping away from her nap. But today she had something more important to do. Her big brother Ben had just come in the house. If he wasn’t quiet, he’s wake up their mom. “Ben……shhhh!” Ten year old Ben had his mouth full of the last cookie so just nodded at Abby. She whispered. “Ben. Can you help me write a letter to Santa?” Ben swallowed the last bite of cookie with a big drink of milk. “Sure, Abby, but you already wrote a letter to Santa.” Ben loved his little sister and would help her with anything. They had been together more often since the restrictions and sometimes he just wanted to go see friends his own age. But he could never refuse Abby. “OK, so why do you want to write to Santa again? What did you forget?” Stubbornly, Abby said “I didn’t forget anything. I just have a new thing that I want. I want my mom to be happy so she doesn’t get tired. She says she’s ‘just tired’ but I don’t think so.” Ben slid down from his high kitchen stool. “Come on then, Abby. Let’s go in my room to my desk in there.” The children tiptoed past Abby’s room where their mother slept.
Dear Santa,
I know I already wrote you a letter - my mother helped me write that one. But I have another thing that I want that I don’t want my mother to know until Christmas. But I don’t know how you can fix this. It’s not a present for me. It’s just that I want my mom to not be tired and for her to be happy. She has to work a whole lot and take care of me and Ben. So please can you help my mom?
Thank you Santa
“That's pretty good Abby. I’ll take this to the Santa box, but do you want the Storyteller to get it too? She got all the other Santa letters - mine, your first one and Mr. Thornton’s four kids.” Abby’s face got serious. “Hmm. Yes, please.” Ben took it to the Santa drop box that Cook kept in the kitchen. “Ben, is this for Santa again or for the Storyteller?” “Abby said both, please. Mr. Digby has a copier in his office, doesn’t he?” Cook took the letter from Ben. “I’ll take care of it, Ben.” She smiled at Ben, tapping the letter on the palm of her hand, and watched him as he went out the door. “Martha’s daughter has such nice kids.”
“Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to makes them happy;
who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows;
who shares his joys with those who are sad;………”
~ Edwin Osgood Grover,
in a 1912 statement, as quoted in The Book of Santa Claus
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