Review, Revision, Edit and Update
The most revision was done in the last section. Reading much of my writing, I see I am still writing very stilted sentences: telling rather than showing. That last section really needed more work. I could keep tinkering, but decided that would be enough,
Sisters Again
As Dez drove up the long gravelled driveway of the Beaufort Estate, she could see them. Her sister, Emelina and Jeremy Crawford on the front porch out of the cold winter rain. She gave two sharp toots of her horn and swung around to the back of the house. Shutting off the car, pulling up the hood of her rain jacket, she stepped out on the rain slick parking pad. Shivering, she ran up the steps to the back porch, just as the back door opened. “Dez! Come in the house. You’ll get soaked.” Em and Jeremy had come through the house to the back door. Opening the door wide, Em ushered her sister into the mudroom just off the kitchen. “Cook’s got coffee and soup on, Dez. It sure didn’t take you long to get here.”
“There wasn’t any traffic and I was so excited to see you both. Jeremy - there you are! You both look great. It must have been a great holiday. Let me hang up my coat so it doesn’t drip all over everything.” Pandemic advice had discouraged hugging but a group hug ensued anyway. “We didn’t see anyone else while we were away………” Jeremy finished Emelina’s thought…..” And we’ve been on the road for about four days. Except for being on the ferry…….” Emelina continued….” We stayed in our car so we didn’t see anyone on the ferry.”
Laughing, Dez held up her hands, palms out. “Whoa, you two! Are you an old married couple or what?”
“Sorry Dez. We’re just really happy and so glad to be home.” The couple leaned in to each other, smiling and contented.
Cook set out soup bowls, cutlery and a plate of fresh scones. “Are you three coming to eat, or are you just going to stand there talking?” She smiled even though she sounded very stern.
“Sorry, Cook. Come ladies. We don’t want to get the chef upset.” Jeremy held out bent elbows to the sisters. They accepted his gallant offer and walked the three steps to the long kitchen table. With a scraping of chairs, they sat, served up fresh soup from the big pot Cook set on the table. Delicious butter melted into still warm scones before being devoured. Silence, broken only by the click of spoons on pottery, hovered in the kitchen.
~~~~~
Jeremy wiped soup bowl clean with his last scone. “That was so good, Cook! Absolutely delicious. I’ll be out here a bit more often now, so I will become your official taste tester.”
“Oh, you will, will you? I didn’t know there was a vacancy for that position, Dr.” Cook chuckled. “I suppose if you’re living here…………”
“He won’t be living out here all the time, Cook.” Emelina, clearing the table, added “And when he is, he’ll have to isolate upstairs. So, my dear Jeremy, any taste testing will be at the good graces of either Cook or myself. Who knows? We may not even feed you.”
“What’s this? You and Jeremy won’t be living together?” Dez had just assumed that Jeremy would be moving in out to the estate. When she thought about his job at the hospital, it was beginning to make sense. “No. As long as Jeremy is working on the Covid Unit, he’s decided to stay in his apartment for his shifts and come out on his days off. We talked about it on the way home.”
Dez smiled to herself, not wanting either Emelina or her new brother-in-law, to see the pleasure on her face at this news. Jeremy's job would prevent him from monopolizing Em's time! Dez and Emelina would have time to learn how their new lives would fit together.
“In photographs of us together, she is always looking
at the camera, and I am always looking at her.”
~ Jandy Nelson, The Sky is Everywhere
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