Suicide Prevention

Thinking about suicide prevention today, I am pretty sure I could not have prevented my mother’s suicide -

nor the suicide of two other relations,

nor the suicide of friends.

All three occurred several decades ago now, each far apart from the other.

Much younger then, in my twenties and then in my thirties,

I had been active in my nursing career for several years.

Clinically I had heard the word 'suicide'.

In those years there were few assessment tools 

for those of us in the health care professions.

As a nurse, I have only cared for those with

suicidal ideation

suicidal gestures

suicide plans

As a daughter and family member

the only tools I had as a young mom were in

my sewing kit

the kitchen drawer

the closet with the mops and vacuum cleaner:

not real effective suicide prevention tools.

I hear talk about

emotional pain

distorted thinking

(those are the polite ways of talking about ‘it’)

But does anyone really, really

understand what

emotional pain or

distorted thinking

is or feels like for someone that is suicidal?

What it’s like inside of those feelings?

Can anyone really, really know from the outside?

So my suicide prevention strategy is this - 

to start with myself.

To honour those who have gone before

not for their deaths or the manner of their deaths

but for the good and decent thoughts, deeds and lessons of their lives.

Whether it be one small thing - or a myriad of things-

character and colour

humor and kindness

smiles and laughter

and best of all the hugs.

I have also committed to live my own life in 

safety and health 

to those that are here and now - 

my families, friends and colleagues.

I share my story with those on the edge between life and death.

Not the details of the deaths 

but the rippled and rippling effects

of the suicide:

Each loved one will be forever missed.

Because you are 

child, mother, father, brother, 

sister, aunt, uncle, friend - 

that loved one - 

oh, I know that you don’t believe me, but your light will be missed.

I also know that your energy for living is all but gone,

but it can be rebuilt - 
extend your hand, 
accept a hand, 
stay with us please.

“Suicide is not a blot on anyone’s name; it is a tragedy.”

~ Kay Redfield Jamison, 

Night Falls Fast:  Understanding Suicide