An innocent looking, but used, toothpick lay on my kitchen counter - a tester for a banana cake I baked. So, it was not especially dirty, but used and needing disposal.
The garbage bag? Innocent white plastic - a clean liner to my kitchen garbage container.
everything done wrong,
been told I’ve done wrong
even been suspected of wrong doing
who do you think you are
you can’t do that
don’t bother trying
you shouldn’t have done that
Forgotten in the mist of memory are
youth of the child or teen or young parent............
exciting inspiration like fragile balloons
life experience behind the voice of a memory.
(and that voice may have been my own! using those same words on another!)
planted deep and nurtured carefully
fed and watered with shame and tears
roots clinging to the soil around spirit
choking out healthy growth.
and if memory is to be believed 100%
can there be any turning back?
Or like the weeds in the garden,
four foot tall thistles with vicious barbs,
or the undergrowth of an untamed field
are we willing to find tools to tackle this long planted self doubt?
“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
~ Brene Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me:
Women Reclaining Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame
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