Tricks and Disguises ~ SELF-DOUBT ~ Theme for June 2014

It’s all very well and good to set one’s intention.
It is pretty important to make preparations,
but somewhere along the line,
not always in the same place for everyone,
there is a gremlin hiding ~ a trickster ~ 
waiting to pull taut a trip wire
dump a balloon of cold water on your head
Throwing things ~ chattering away nasty character assassinations.
“You’re not good enough.”
‘What makes you think you’ll ever get there?”
“Who do you think you are?”

I’ve met with that trickster more than a time or two
always with a different face ~ a different voice
And it’s always when I’m in a low spot of mood or energy,
or so distracted by other things that the trickster can slip in
change my attitude, 
question my beliefs,
or worse yet ~ question me about me.
Of course we all know that the different voices 
all come from within, 
memories attached to chatter or to the cold water, the trip wire or the chants ~
so that I don’t have to be responsible,
so I can blame someone else ~ who may only be miles away
or who may no longer walk this earth.

Is there any value to self-doubt?
Well, I suppose self-doubt slows me down ~ sometimes too slow,
gives me a chance to examine what my actions are,
tweak them or change them completely,
look at the other side of the coin.

But if I let a landslide of self-doubt bury me ~
well there’s a long hard dig to get footing back on solid ground.
Can I always look at the gremlin as a trickster?
Shake hands and stride forward to write another day?
I can certainly try ..............

“I am the one constant obstacle to my own momentum.”

~ Pete Vellucci, Jr.