Characteristically Clothed

Characteristically Clothed

Sarah wore her age well. Just the right amount of lines. Not too, too many gray hairs. The contents of her closet showed it’s age more than she did. Sarah’s grand-daughter had just visited and made that pronouncement. ‘Grandma, your clothes are nice but they look like you’re old! And you’re not!’ Now, looking in her closet, Sarah burst into tears. She had to do something about her life.

Sarah wanted, more than anything, to stop crying all the time. Like everyone she was not perfect, but the crying had bothered her more each day. She cried at the drop of the hat! It could be tears of joy or tears of sadness. Movies were the worst for her, but it could be the sight of a child at play. Or the frustration of opening a stubborn jar! Always a crier since she was a child, she remembered her mother fussing at her. ‘You are just so sensitive! Do you have to cry at everthing?!’ 

How does one change a habit of a lifetime? She had been to many doctors about her ‘problem’. After all their poking and prodding, blood tests and even x-rays, they all had the same answer. ‘There’s nothing wrong, Mrs Albright. You are just very sensitive. Have you considered seeing a counselor or psychiatrist about learning how to cope with stressors?’ That suggestion just got Sarah’s back up and brought sudden tears to her eyes. It was the proverbial lightbulb moment.

Then she had an idea. An idea that seemed so simple that, after all these years, Sarah didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of it before. When her tears flowed so quickly, she was angry. So angry she wanted to scream. As a child, she had been taught that anger was a bad thing. Without realizing it, that scream became silent tears. 

Sarah, unbeknownst to her doctor or to her children, did go to a counselor. The counselor was a bit taken aback that Sarah was asking for anger management for crying. Most people referred to her had a variety of violence issues, often sent by a court of law. But Sarah did present a challenge. After several sessions, Sarah began to recognize when she was becoming angry.

When Sarah returned home, she went to that closet of dated clothes. Her tears had been angry tears! Sarah’s solution? A shopping trip was in order with a huge donation of clothes to a thrift store.

“That’s the thing about lessons, you always learn them 

when you don’t expect them or want them.”

~ Ceclia Ahern, If You Could See Me Now