It's Personal ~ 1

It's Personal

Papers were stacked everywhere. Christmas was coming in three days. The only decoration was a slender glass vase with candy canes in it. It was on the window sill behind the curtains. 

Sam was depressed. She had too much to do and her manuscript should have been in to the publisher the week before. It was horrible. Terrible. The only things on TV were the sloppy Christmas chick flicks. 

This had to stop! Sam was determined to get through Christmas without her own sloppiness. Stopping Christmas was a job too big. She could just close her curtains and stay home until January, but that sounded too boring. She would finish her manuscript! Sigh. ‘I will not cry! Or be angry! But I feel sad and angry. And I’m talking to myself!’ 

Rummaging in her closets and under her bed for the rest of the decorations, she muttered. ‘I might as well get them out and start decorating.’ Sitting on the floor she opened the first box. ‘Wow. There’s the crystal icicle that my children gave me in 1992. And that little brass bell…….and what’s this? I had forgotten about all these beautiful Christmas cards.’ Sam lost herself in all of the memories. An hour later, there were still no decorations hung. The Christmas tree was out of it’s box, but lay on it’s side waiting to be plugged in. Sam had hoped that this year she’d be able to get a real tree, but her actions were weaker than her hope. The other decorations were scattered around her on the floor. She had found her Christmas mug. Hugging her favourite snowman cup of chai tea to her, she leaned up against the wall and smiled. 

Sam never really believed in the religious part of Christmas. She kept quiet about that part of her life. But she loved the history to this season. And her own history was part of the Christmas she enjoyed. She smiled and stood up. Stiffly -  because when you’ve been sitting on the floor for an hour reading through memories, stiff is part of the deal.

When she went to bed that night, her fake tree glowed with blue electric lights. All the little ornaments decorated the tree. Old Christmas cards were strung across the living room window. Her favourite Saint Nicholas was set up on the mantel. Sam slept well that night.

“All true meaning resides in the personal relationship 

to a phenomenon, what it means to you.”

~ Christopher McCandless