Feeling Faded

Feeling Faded

With her faded dress and worn shoes she was certain she couldn’t go on. The streets were long and hard. Her morning began in great confidence. She knew before she left the shelter that she wasn’t the best dressed, but she was clean and one of the other girls had fixed her hair. She felt she looked quite professional. Tricia expected some rejections, but as the morning wore on, she began to feel something hardening in her soul. 

Tricia had enough in her wallet for lunch. Lunch would fix her flagging feelings. The warmth of the small diner felt good. She ordered soup and sandwich - the cheapest on the menu. The ginger carrot soup was smooth and delicious. Just enough of a bite to get her attention. Tricia closed her eyes and sat back in the chair. Easing her feet from her shoes without taking them off, she curled and uncurled her toes. Sitting forward again, she carefully ate lettuce and roast beef sandwich. It might be the last she ate for the day, so savoured every bite. Once her lunch was finished, making sure to drink an extra glass of water, the Ladies room was her next stop. 

Tricia wasn’t done with her job search. In the mirror she saw a too young and too tired woman who looked lost. Straightening up, she brushed back her hair, put a smile on her face and smoothed her skirt. For too long, she had drifted, finally living on the streets, in shelters and couch surfing. She had been angry with her parents, always wanting her to ‘have principles’. Tricia hadn’t seen her parents for…. How long? She couldn’t remember. Tricia wanted to tell them that she now had at least one principle. To become independent. To get her own place. To stop drifting.

Despite her faded dress and worn shoes, she also knew that she would go on. She would find her place in the world. By the end of the day, she had one job interview for the next day.

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”

~ Coco Chanel