Somedays

Somedays

I feel like a lab rat trapped 

inside the maze of my skin

feeling all the twinges of my age

not serious twinges but enough that

I hear whispers - 'Scurry off to a doctor.'

'Tell me what's really wrong.'

Somedays

I know that my nursing wisdom 

tells me that there are a million reasons

for each twinge, ache or pain and that 

asking for machines to beep and buzz

is not a good use of our health care system.

Somedays

I get scared and know that

my twinges will result in 

fatal disease or major surgery,

chronic consequences filled 

with pain and disability

Somedays

I feel like an explorer

investigating the depths of my body

ferreting out forgotten strengths

finding that I am not trapped but

I am healthy with no need for labels or prescriptions.

Somedays

my inner wisdom may grow weak

but if I breathe deeply it glows with strength 

finding peace for soul and family, 

healing for body and mind 

knowing that a twinge may just be a twinge.

“It's never too late to learn some embarrassingly basic, 

stupidly obvious things about oneself.”

~ Alain de Botton