“Living in a way that is…….well, confusing…I’m just so tired of it!” Jeremy and Emelina were walking along the waterfront. A second honeymoon on their first anniversary, Jeremy had reserved a room at the same resort from the year before. Emelina leaned into him. “What is confusing, honey? Something at work?... Of course it is. You haven’t been any other place, except out to the Estate. …..Isn’t it beautiful out here. So calm.” She took a deep breath of the cool evening air, snuggling against her husband. “Your jacket’s not warm enough, Em! Here ~ I’ll wrap you in my big strong arms and warm you up. I’ll forget about all that confusing stuff.” Wrapped around each other, they resumed their slow walk.
~~~~~
But they did talk about ‘all that confusing stuff’. In their little cabin, they ordered supper in from We Cater to You, a specialty restaurant a few blocks away. Creamy mashed potatoes, roast capons with lemon and thyme, and asparagus. There were two silver pitchers of hollandaise sauce for the asparagus. Jeremy poured his hollandaise over it all. “Jeremy! That’s just for the asparagus.” Emelina, her fork holding two sprigs of asparagus hung in midair, laughed at her husband. She put the fork down and, using her napkin, touched her lips. Her husband sat up, wiped his mouth, and sighed deeply. “That’s what I mean, Em. Confusing. For days I am up to my ears in the tragic sadness of sickness, with barriers of that damned PPE. The smell of antiseptics and sickness. Today I was suddenly driving away from it all, my windows rolled down and fresh air on my bare face. The aroma of pine trees dripping with winter rain and knowing I was coming to you.” He paused and looked down at his scraped clean plate. “This is the best meal I’ve eaten for a very long time. Except of course the last meal Cook made for us.”
~~~~~
“Then this week is just what you need. And what I need! You may be up to your elbows in all your medical things, but I’ve had my own confusing episodes. Long, long spaces of time when no one is in the house but me. When in town, everyone is masked. Does anyone smile at me? Then there is the strange gentleman on the corner of main and Edward with is big scrawled signs about how vaccines will kill. I think of you taking care of people like him and want to scream.” Her voice trembled. “But we’re not going too talk about all of that. We’ve got an entire week to let it all go.” She pushed her chair back. “Let’s walk again. We’ll stay outside as much as possible. Except when it’s time to sleep.” A smile crept slowly across her face.
~~~~~
Over the next week, the couple walked miles up and down the beach. They talked. They laughed. They stopped at a teashop where Em bought them matching bracelets. “You know I won’t be able to wear mine at work Em.” She nodded. “I know, Jeremy, but I’ll wear mine every day, then you’ll be with me every day keeping us together.... That probably sounds silly.” Jeremy took her hand. “Not silly at all, sweetheart.”
“Confusion is a luxury which only the very, very young
can possibly afford and you are not that young anymore.”
~ James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room
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