A Letter to Bernie

Hi Bernie,

How are you and what’s it like in the great beyond? If your mom and dad are there with you, please give them my best. I think of you often when I’m at work at Detox. You were one of my very first patients in Chemical Dependency. Later we worked together while you went to Texas Tech and got your Master’s in Education and following that we worked together again - you as one of the counselor’s and educators, me as one of the nurses.

Two of my favourite memories of you are the first time I took care of you and later on something you shared with us at the treatment center where we both worked.

As my patient you were stubborn and arrogant, unwilling to even look at the types and amounts of pills you were taking. Mention of your dad just put your back up because you were ‘never going to be like him’.  And you weren’t ~ he died of lung disease, but was sober and had been sober for many years. In those early years you knew nothing of relapse, and maybe didn’t really believe it could happen to you. And so, you unfortunately relapsed after a long period of clean and sober time and died of this nasty, horrible disease of active addiction.

We were all so proud of you at the treatment center. In between the time you were my patient and your too early death, we watched you go through a chemical dependency treatment program, graduate university obtaining a Master’s in Education, and returning to where you had begun your journey - but this time as one of the counselor’s. Your time as a counselor surrounds the second memory. It was your belief, and I concur, that all recovered folks in the early years of sobriety are ‘flaming co-dependents’ and have a lot of work to do to repair relationships. You worked well with patients and their families bringing them hope and help, directing them to the supports that they required to maintain their lives when they had chosen sobriety.

I was greatly saddened when I learned of your death after all of the work that you put into your recovery and the recovery of others. The manner of your death was so very unfortunate, but the good that you did in the years before your relapse was profound. Just know that lessons that you taught me from that beginning stubborn arrogant individual and later on, from the counselor are still used and shared by this nurse.

Thanks for all that you gave to me and to others,

Take care,

Susan

“Relapse is part of the disease of addiction. It’s something that’s 

going to literally slap them in the face when they walk out the doors.”

~ Nicole Lockhart