The Challenge Came Later

“You have epilepsy. This diagnosis was not tossed down like it was a challenge and I didn't hear it as such. My memory of that day in 1967 - or was it late 1966 - is that I was sitting on a stretcher, a hospital gown on, Dr. McDougall standing in front of me in his white doctor’s coat to deliver this information to me. Is this an accurate image in my memory? I have no idea. Unfamiliar post-ictal haziness didn't register much. Epilepsy merely became something outside of me ~ that had nothing to do with me. A seizure, when I had one, was epilepsy's only indication of it's presence. And I didn’t see any seizure. I could only feel the after effects. I couldn’t even see the effects on my family.

The challenge came from the outside, but not until 1978, ten years later.It came from the successes of others with a different disease. I grabbed it like a dare in a school yard game.....if you can get better, so can I. So there. 

Do I still have epilepsy? Definitely ~ and I have the Electroencephalogram (EEG) from last year to prove it. But over fourteen years have passed since my last grand-mal seizure (tonic clonic in today's clinical terms).  Does epilepsy affect my life. Definitely. In the boundaries and organization of my life ~ and life is pretty darn good.