Autonomy. What has it meant to me this last month? I’ve tried to keep it very simple. Autonomy is a pretty big word. It’s meaning: very weighty and suggesting things greater than myself. But there is such a thing as personal autonomy. I’m certain most people know this but I have had to separate the definitions to be able to wrap my head around it all. The Cambridge online dictionary definition is two fold: ‘the right of an organization, country, or region to be independent and govern itself’ and ‘the ability to make your own decisions without being controlled by anyone else.’
That brings me to my retirement, still in it’s infancy, I’m taking baby steps and enjoying every ~ well most ~ of the steps I’ve taken. It has been those times of limbo when caught in the space of time previously given to my health care employer that it became almost like holding my breath. Realizing I’ve been standing stock still wondering…..just wondering. Wondering has become a very active time of creativity for these pools of time that were growing quite stagnant, and in my case, very boring.
On a recent visit to Vancouver to spend time with my family, I had an unforeseen opportunity to walk every morning. Weather cooperated, my lodgings were only ten minutes from my son’s very full household and the street that I walked was wide and popping into spring time. Using my personal autonomy, I have since walked every morning. Today I realized that I have, in the past, not really explored Beacon Hill Park. Today, I climbed the rocks high up in the park in to the wilds of this amazing place in the city. Church bells ringing and birds singing. The sun lighting up massive rocks lined with stubby green grass, faintly green trees, and the whole park and city. Spring daffodils, purple camas and snow drops lit up tiny spaces in budding trees. I have felt my pace, my abilities and found a place in those rocks that fill me with joy, gratitude and a solid sense of personal autonomy.
“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.”
~ Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
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