Unwritten

I have two short pieces of writing this evening. They are from our Writer’s group assignment for the month of April. We create an assignment each month for each of us in our little group. This month we were to write ‘a newspaper article about a famous event in history’. This was a difficult assignment for me, as I am much more used to stream of consciousness writing and creative non-fiction, even for the short pieces I write. There has been so much going on in the world that to choose one was quite overwhelming. Considering Florence Nightingale, I did some brief research, complements of Wikipedia and other online sites, and found an event. If a newspaper was picked up at the time, I couldn’t tell. So I’ve taken the liberty to write it on this blog 164 years later. When I read it aloud this afternoon, I felt it was choppy and did not flow very well at all. Please feel free to comment and critique my efforts.

Original piece:

Hoping for a change to the role of women has been replaced with action by Florence Nightingale. As one of a very few women reporters, I was impressed by this woman of tiny stature when hearing her speak out for women and to receive monies that have allowed her goals to be furthered for women and nursing by the establishment of a training school at St. Thomas Hospital. In 1855, a fund was set up by members of the public to provide money for her very prodigious work. Many reports suggest that she listens more to the counsel of men than woman, however in her own life she has set herself the momentous task to live and serve outside of an often oppressive, and sometimes decorative, role of women. The establishment of the training school is possibly the beginning for a woman’s role to work outside the home because of a calling to serve others, when there has been little encouragement for women to seek higher education or work outside of the home. In the main, women have been supported financially by men. Florence Nightingale has dared to step into roles disapproved of by her own mother and sisters. She has challenged the male dominated medical profession in the simple task of hand washing before surgeries and between patients, demanding cleanliness throughout any hospitals, however humble, for the sick and suffering. Florence Nightingale, a very controversial and authentic figure, accepted the monies with much gratitude for her continuing service to mankind.

Edited piece

Hoping for change has been replaced with action by Florence Nightingale, a woman of tiny stature and pleasant visage. As one of a very few women reporters, I was impressed by her speech and manner when hearing her gracious receipt of the monies that have allowed her goals to be furthered. With the monies, she plans the establishment of a training school at St. Thomas Hospital for women wishing to become deaconesses. Given her in 1855, these monies derived from a fund set up by members of the public to provide money for her very prodigious work. Many less charitable reports suggest that she listens more to the counsel of men than woman so are not in support of releasing women from traditional roles. In her own life she set herself the momentous task to live and serve outside the often oppressive role of women. The establishment of such a training school is possibly the beginning for many women to work outside the home because of a calling to serve others, when there has been little encouragement for women to seek higher education or work outside of the home. In the main, women have been supported financially by men. Florence Nightingale has dared to step into roles disapproved of by her own mother and sisters. She has challenged the male dominated medical profession in the simple task of hand washing before surgeries and between patients, demanding cleanliness throughout any hospitals, however humble, for the sick and suffering. Florence Nightingale, a very controversial figure, accepted the monies with much gratitude for her continuing service to mankind.

“So never lose an opportunity of urging a practical beginning, 

however small, for it is wonderful how often in such matters 

the mustard-seed germinates and roots itself.”

~ Florence Nightingale