Review, Revision, Edit and Update
Clarity, spelling, punctuation, sentence structure, wordiness. These are just of the few issues that are the mechanics of revision. Scattered throughout this episode, each of these areas have been attended to. My resource frequently is The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B.White for any of these issues.
Just a Note
Gathering bouquets of wildflowers for vases upstairs and downstairs, Dez and Emelina had enjoyed being outside on the warm and lightly clouded day. A streak of blue dared show through as the sky-high winds drifted the puffs and stretches of gray, shafts of sunlight woven through like gold thread. “An anniversary? Today? Oh, I know……I think.......The afternoon of March 25, the same day I was becoming a hardened criminal and early that same morning you had to stand on your own two feet. Am I right?”
Emmie put her flowers in the wheelbarrow suggested to them. Samuel, the yard man, had wisely brought it to them, saying ‘if you’re goin’ to get that many flowers, best use this wheelbarrow.’ Gratefully the sisters put their harvest of wildflowers in it. “Dez don’t you think that’s enough? And you're right. I woke up that morning and expected to have Brigitte, in that silly little uniform I insisted she wear, bring my tea to me, brush my hair and put my makeup on. I rang my little bell over and over. How did I ever get to that state? At first I was angry that I was being so sadly neglected. I marched to my bedroom door and was about to fling it open, calling out my displeasure when I saw something had been slipped under my door.” She paused and called out to her sister. “If you don’t hurry, Dez, you’ll miss the wheelbarrow. I’m starting back up to the house now.”
Dez, neatly avoiding bees in the meadow, picked her last wildflower. She called out “Stop at the garden. Samuel has a couple of baskets of tomatoes for Cook. How did you manage without Brigitte putting you all together and bringing you tea? You never would have had anything ready and you would have had to actually go downstairs.” Emmie set the wheelbarrow by the garden and shaded her eyes looking for Samuel just as he came from behind the toolshed where he had been clearing out space for a new compost bin. She greeted him with a smile “Oh, there you are, Samuel. Dez said you have some tomatoes for Cook.” Catching up to Emmie, her sister set her flowers into the wheelbarrow and cleared space for two mid-sized baskets of ripe red tomatoes. “I actually managed quite nicely, Dez. Everyone had left me notes all over the kitchen. Cook left sandwiches in the fridge that she had also stocked with my preferred foods. I did drift most of the day trying to find everything, finding out how to work some of Cook’s gadgets and in the afternoon I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep.”
Samuel interrupted the two sisters “You two get on now. Tomatoes are gettin’ too warm now that they’re off the vines and them flowers need to get in water. If you’re goin’to cut 'em, then you best take care of 'em.” Samuel didn’t think much of cutting flowers but once it was done, it was done. He was also thinking of a delicious cold tomato sandwich with garden lettuce frilling from Elizabeth’s crusty homemade bread. The sisters glanced at each other, hearing a tiny edge to his voice. “Ok Samuel. we'll get all of this up to the house and take care of it.” He picked up his hoe and started carefully cleaning up weeds among the bigger plants, getting down on his knees for the remaining carrots and the climbing beans.
Turning to the task at hand, Dez lifted the wheelbarrow and started toward the house. “Em, you mentioned notes. That reminds me. When I went back up to the house, Martha said there was a letter for you. It’s just a little one and it’s from the hospital. I didn’t recognize the handwriting. No reason that I should, I guess.”
Dez had barely parked the old green wheelbarrow outside the back door when her sister whisked up an armful of flowers and rushed into the house. Like a little girl on her birthday, she was excited. “Martha….. Do I have some mail?” Accepting the wildflowers thrust at her, while trying to turn the teakettle off, it was Cook who spoke “Martha and James have gone out for a bit. Martha told me to give you this.” It was a slim letter, so light that it didn’t even feel like there could be anything in it. Emelina sat down and carefully opened the envelope even though she wanted to rip it open. She really didn’t know who it was from, but felt like she did. One slip of paper fell out onto the table and slipped onto the floor. Leaning down, she picked it up. On a single piece of paper, in a very shaky hand, Emelina read the few lines......
Hello,
Thank you for the letters.
A volunteer comes in and reads them to me.
Hearing about the summer makes me smile.
Too weak to write any more,
Bye for now,
Carrie
Dez had brought the rest of their load into the house. Cook showed her where the spare vases were. Choosing one, she created a lovely bouquet for the kitchen table. The baskets of tomatoes were deposited on the cupboard beside the stove. While she was wiping her hands free of dirt, she looked up at her sister and noticed her wet eyes. “Emmie, here’s a tissue. Wipe your eyes and blow your nose.”
~~~~~
Carrie Tyler had indeed improved, but she was very weak. When the volunteer came, she brought with her a small writing pad, a pen and a stamped envelope. “Carrie are you sure you want to try this?” Carrie turned her pale face to her. “Yes, I need to try.”
“Let us be grateful to the people who are us happy; they are
the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
~ Marcel Proust
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