Chapter One, Episode 148 - Together - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

Revisions often take the form of reducing wordiness ~ using three words when one would do or sometimes the removal of an entire phrase from the text. The principal of showing not telling is also an important focus for revision. These were both areas given my attention in this episode. Gratefully, there were no typographical errors to complicate this process.

Together

Maybe I should write to her? But who would read it to her? Emmie desperately wanted to communicate with Carrie Tyler, this young woman with a picture of a young girl. 'Emelina Eliot' written on the back. If she had been well, they could meet for a hamburger in the park. But she wasn’t. When Jeremy called her the night before, she was apparently on death’s door. Dez told her she was better today. Something about dehydration. So why was she on a respirator? Emmie searched her memory. She was on a respirator, wasn’t she? Maybe a letter? She’d often heard Cook talking about the letters she wrote to her sister in England. “Why, I just have a cup of tea beside me and I talk to Lily with my pen. And when she writes back to me, she tells me she has a cup of tea. Then, we’ve just had a good visit.” ..... But would that really be a good way to start to talk with this stranger?

“Dez, do you have some writing paper? And I’ll have to borrow a pen - I may have one in my purse. Yes, never mind the pen. I just need some writing paper and an envelope. Is there a light on your balcony?” Emmie paced and fussed. If she was at home, she’d go running on the track. But she’d decided to stay in Hartley with Dez. “I’m tired of so many unanswered questions!” Dez handed her a packet of writing paper and some envelopes, but kept quiet. She knew enough about her sister to recognize it was good time to stay out of her way. “I feel absolutely helpless! I’ve been asked to help, but there’s nothing I can do or say that is of any help. Why didn’t Jeremy let us alone? I’m sorry Dez, I shouldn’t be ranting at you. You didn’t ask for any of this.” Emelina’s phone rang, interrupting their very one-sided conversation. “Dez ~ It’s the hospital!” Emmie drew herself up, cautiously answering the call. “Hello.” Emmie listened, stern and unyielding when the phone rang, her face slowly softened. “Thank you Miss Campbell. And please contact me with any further updates on Mrs. Tyler’s condition. If she needs anything please let me know.” Emelina hesitated. “Miss Campbell? One more thing. I have a question for you. I’d like to write a short note to Mrs.Tyler. Do you think it’s appropriate, or should I wait until her condition improves a bit more?” She listened to the Social Worker's advice. “Make it a short note and address it care of you - Miss Campbell - at the Social Work Department. Thank you. Yes I have her room number here as well.” Another pause. “You’re quite right. This is a very delicate situation. I’m doing ok and I'm with my sister here in Hartley. Your phone number is registered in my phone. Have a good evening and we’ll talk soon.”

Emmie let out a big sigh. She picked up the note pad where she dropped it when her phone rang. “Carrie’s a bit better tonight but still not out of the woods. I can write her a letter, a short one and address it care of the social worker I just spoke to.” Dez had disappeared into the kitchen while Emmie was on the phone to give her some privacy, only catching a word or two of her sister’s replies. “Feel any better, Em?” Dez could see the relief on her sister’s face, but needed to hear it, too. “Yes. A bit. Still a lot of unanswered questions, but it’s not the time to figure them all out. I guess I can go easy on Jeremy. He did what he thought was right, and I’m glad he did.” Emmie started to go to the balcony, paused and turned back to Dez. “I had let go of my child. Remember? You were all excited when I told you my story, and I told you to let her live her life.” Emmie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “You couldn’t have known this would happen, Em. That this part of her life would come here like this. Go. Write your letter. Give me your phone and I’ll take any calls.”

~~~~~

Hello Carrie,

My name is Emelina Beaufort. I was given your name by a colleague of the Social Worker reading you this note. They have the interesting notion that you and I may be related. We’ll have to sit down after you’re better and find out why they think so. Right now, your job is to get better so we can have that chat. 

I am keeping this short so I don’t tire you out. The Social Worker I’ve spoken to tonight is Miss Campbell. I’ve given her my phone number. She will keep me updated on how you are doing. If the doctors say you are well enough for visitors or if you need anything else, have her or one of her colleagues contact me.

I’m looking forward to meeting you.

Be well, Carrie

Emelina

Emelina held up the note, re-read it and then called out to her sister. “Dez? Are you there? Would you please read this and tell me what you think? Did I say too much? Not enough?”

“One minute, Em. I’m bringing hot chocolate.” Dez, coming from the kitchen, walked carefully across the living room, two mugs of hot chocolate in hand, both piled precariously with mini marshmallows. Emelina stood up quickly, opened the screen door and took one of the mugs from Dez. “Mmmmmmm……good idea! Here’s the note I wrote.”

There was only a moment's silence while Dez sipped her hot chocolate and read what her sister had written. “It looks just right, Em. Do you want to mail it tonight or should we do that in the morning?”

“Let’s mail it in the morning. I think it’s time for me……… for us…to relax. Thank you, Dez. A toast to us: ‘We can do this together.’ ” The sisters clicked their mugs and relaxed as the darkness softened and settled.

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness.”

~ Kahlil Gibran