Chapter One, Episode 134 - Spillage - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

Typos and misspellings! This is the first episode in a long time for more than one or two. Easy peasy.

However, the 'pronoun overuse' issue was still present. Dialogue seems to be a bit more tricky in sorting that out. Not sure I have that down yet, but I'll keep working on it.

This revision also involved the restructuring and rearranging of sentences, for the most part further in the episode for clarity's sake.

I must have been pretty sleepy when I wrote this one.

Spillage

But where would they go from there? Desperanza Eliot had been single all of her life. Her sister, Emelina Beaufort was widowed. Neither sister had children. Should anything happen to either one, what would be their legacy? The sisters thought often about these things, but never shared their thoughts with one another. The generosity and kindness of the staff helped to foster the illusion that they were part of a family. Yet they were their only family. Too serious for their weekends off from the busyness of the Beaufort Estate seldom involved such serious topics. Seeing the architecture of the old mansion, then reading Amelia Beaufort’s diary had stirred privately held thoughts about their own mortality.

~~~~~

Supper was in the upstairs dining room. Cook had sent a simple supper of chili, fresh baked sourdough bread and a green salad up to them on the dumbwaiter. Eating in silence, only the scrape of spoons against pottery and the crunch of the crusty bread were heard. Emmie put her spoon down, leaned on her elbows and surveyed the dining room and out the window to the garden and orchard, ripening in the summer sun. Dez took another slice of bread and buttered it, wiping clean her empty chili bowl. Noticing how pensive her sister had become, she asked if there was anything wrong. Emmie broke their long held silence about their family, their legacy of only themselves. “Dez, you and I have no families to pass on our own histories. Have you ever thought about that?”  

Dez didn’t like to hear even a suggestion of life ending. She did carried an uncomfortable secret, her grief about holding a dying friend in her arms. That she had felt the last drops of life drain away and could do nothing about it. Emmie stirred all of the pain up again. Dez didn’t stay in any one relationship for long because of the grief. She made the choice to end relationships, never allowing death, or any other circumstance, to make such choices for her. And she did not want to bring children into the world - to be responsible for their joys, but especially for their hurts. She told her sister each detail of tragedy in a rush of words that tumbled over each other disturbing the rockwall in her heart. “Oh, Dez. I didn’t know.” Emmie felt so very sorry for her unintended insensitivity. She got up from her chair and went to her sister, but didn’t really know how to comfort her. Dez looked up at Emmie, tears in her eyes.  “How could you know, Em? Do you know why I left Dad’s funeral so suddenly? It probably looked like I was being rude. I suppose I was, but it was just after that horrendous death of my friend. Then we didn’t see each other for years. I really thought it was all buried. The more I'm out here with you, so much has resurfaced. Kind Martha and James getting married. Hearing Giles talk so lovingly about his kids. Joey being out here, especially when I see him talking so earnestly to Samuel. Most of all, it is seeing you and Jeremy together so close and comfortable with each other. I just thought my anxiety was all about Covid19 and being afraid of the virus.” Emmie brought a box of tissues to the table and sat by her sister. “Here, Dez. Blow your nose. Here’s a drink of water.” She did as she was told, dropping the nasty tissue in the waste basket proffered. “Here’s the hand sanitizer. Do we need to change the subject?” Emmie didn’t want their weekend to end on this very heavy note, but Dez continued “Yes, I’ve been afraid of catching and spreading the virus. I’ve had to stop listening to so many news reports. But I've also been concerned for you. Just by listening to Cook and Martha, it was hard on you when Michael died and you………” Emmie shook her head and cut her sister off mid sentence. “I was just being selfish, Dez.” Dez disagreed and took it a little further “Maybe you were, maybe you weren’t. What I’ve heard around here it went much deeper than selfish.The selfish act just made it easier to stay in your own grief and keep everyone away.” A smile crept over Dez's face. “I do remember that same selfish act when we were kids whenever you were scared or hurt.” Emmie laugh for the first time that evening. “Ok. So we’ve both got issues, but what does that have to do with today?” Her tears dried, Dez finished eating her chili soaked bread. Swallowing another drink of water she said “I’m glad I got all that mess off my chest. I certainly wasn’t planning on it. You’re a good sister to listen to it all - and make sure I blew my nose. But, if you’re asking 'what are we going to leave on this earth'? I really don’t know. I just know that I don’t want it all to be for nothing.”

~~~~~

Emmie brought their dessert  over from the dumbwaiter. “Apple crumble and ice cream. Dez, in answer to your question, I know I want something more and am not sure what that more is. For certain, I don’t want to leave this good house to the vagaries of time or real estate developers.” Dez laughed at her sister’s little joke. “I don’t believe it, Em. You actually have a sense of humour! To be serious though how can we make such changes?”

“To be a person is to have a story to tell.”

~ Isak Dinesen