Chapter One, Episode 165 - Out on a Limb - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

There were few edits required for this episode - minor wording changes, removal of an unnecessary space, and the addition of a missing quotation mark. 

Voice and Tone are the next writing issues any writer must deal with. Quoting again from The Art and Craft of Storytelling is Voice: “the quality of the narration, regardless of whether it's told in first or third person.” A further quotation about voice, which I find amusing but very valid, is: “...shed your old one. The school voice. The please-the-teacher voice. And - horrors - the college-term-paper voice.”

Regarding Tone, it is “the atmosphere of the book”  as well as the rhythm or varying moods of any written work - in this case the serial like story Situationally Theirs.  My questions to myself today are - could this scenario be an ending of sorts? It is certainly a possibility. Did I get an authentic voice in this and other episodes? Was the tone in each episode consistent with the characters or the scene? 

Out on a Limb

There are times when a burst of energy and confidence can be exactly what is needed. However, bursts don’t last long. Momentum keeps someone moving forward. After Emelina had made her pronouncement that ‘things will be different around here’, she had just enough momentum to reassure Martha, her sister Dez and Cook that she was better. No more staying in bed. After the energetic whirlwind of cleaning and dressing to the nines, she had gone to the kitchen and sat down. The energy she had felt coursing through her, slowly dissipated. Cook went back to her food preparation area and Martha to her office. Emmie leaned towards Dez and in a forced whisper, she hissed “Dez. You’ve got to help me. I don’t know what I meant when I said ‘things will be different around here’.” Forcing herself to sit ramrod straight, she finished her coffee and calmly said “Dez, can we talk upstairs. I want to ask your opinion about my bedroom.” Dez could barely contain herself. Watching her sister slowly deflate as the four women sat and talked was almost amusing. She was overly polite, sat just a little too calmly except for the way she kept moving her coffee mug around. She only did that when she was nervous or anxious about something. 

Dez took her mug to the sink, picked up her backpack and headed to the stairs. “Let’s go, Em. I’ve brought some overnight things I want to put away. Martha thought I should come ready to stay at least one night. Looks like you’re doing much better, but I’ll stay one night anyway.” Her sister was already half way up to the second floor. When Dez reached the second floor, her sister was standing at the living room window. Musing aloud, she said “The yard looks beautiful. I don’t know how Samuel does it. I suppose he has his own system so he keeps on top of everything..... Oh, Dez, there you are. I’m so tired now. I may just go back to bed.” 

Red flags flying, Dez dropped her overnight bag on the floor. “Oh no you don’t Emmie. You're coming with me and we’re going outside.” She was scrabbling around for something to keep her sister from retreating again. “Where’s your purse?” Distracted, her sister waved her hand towards her room. “It’s in there. I’ll get it.” Dez blocked her way and said. “Never mind your purse, I’ve got mine. Come on with me.” As obedient as a child, her sister allowed herself to be led outside. Dez saw her wipe a tear away from her eye. 

~~~~~

Afternoon stretched into evening. Dez listened as her sister talked about her devastation when Carrie was gone, with no real resolution to their mutual past. “I got caught up in it Dez. I wanted so much to learn what had happened to my baby. I was so, incredibly angry at Jeremy for thinking I could make a difference in Carrie’s life. And now here I am, alone again with that past hanging over me. Feeling sorry for myself. What do I do, Dez?”

Dez sighed. She had watched Emmie since they were tiny. Always the centre of attention without even trying. And now she wants me to tell her what she should do. She has more money than I’ll ever have, she has everything she wants and needs right here. But she’s still lost. Dez thought all these things while she looked at her big sister. “Emmie, you already know what you want to do. I heard you say so when you were tearing the place apart cleaning every bit of dust in the place. You want your old bedroom back - that makes perfect sense. You want a new bed. You don’t want to jump and run when anyone calls. But let’s start with the bedroom - that’s what you can do today. I’ll help you - you're not alone.” Now Dez watched all the built up tension drain away from her sister, her shoulders sagging, the stiff smile gone. No wonder she’s tired. “But not here, Em. We’re going for a drive into town. First we’ll stop at the park and get some ice cream and then I want you to tell me whether you want your walls painted or wall papered.” Emmie perked up at the mention of redecorating. “Dez, if I’m going redecorate the bedroom then the ensuite bathroom needs freshening up too.”

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust, First Part