Being A Mom
Respect for education was one thing, but respect for being a mom was the most important. Joanie Richardson was caught with both titles. She wanted to push her daughter Abby to pick up her grades, which had begun to slip in the past few weeks. She wanted to support her in her goal to become a scientist, even if she was only seven years old. Joanie had seen too many kids, stars in their eyes about what they wanted to do in life, only to be discouraged by a teacher or parent who just wanted the grades. “You’re too young to be thinking like that!” Or “You’ll change your mind next week and then where will you be.” Or some other discouraging something. Up early, she had tossed and turned most of the night. Today was her day off, a Saturday. There were no scheduled events at the school today. She would have some time to herself after she took her kids to their soccer practices. She had already talked to one of the other mothers. Barb would look out for her kids while she talked with her own mother. Too much going on in her head to know how to manage this situation before it got out of hand. At seven years of age, Abby and her mother still had a good relationship. Joanie wanted to keep it that way for as long as she could.
It had been at work earlier in the week when she overheard a conversation between two other teachers. “One of my girls, best student in the class, has been coming in without her homework done, one test the week before, her grade was really down.” Taking her sandwich out of her bag she continued “I want to talk to her mother about it, but it may just be a one off. I just don’t know.” Joanie’s ears had tuned in when she heard ‘best student’ knowing that the teacher speaking was Abby’s teacher. “Ever since we had that biologist in to speak, that girl’s head has been in the clouds.” She took a bite of her sandwich. “Did you ask her if everything’s all right?” Swallowing, she said “Yes, and all she said was ‘Yes, Miss Carter’ and continued with the work I’d given them.”
“Come on, kids, you need to get down here. Breakfast is on the table and we have to leave in 30 minutes. Ben stomped into the kitchen, Abby was taking her time coming down the stairs. “Ben, are you having a bad morning? You’ll feel better after you eat and then get to your practice with your friends. Barb is bringing you both back home after. I think she said she’s taking you for ice cream after practice.” Ben brightened a little bit. Abby strolled into the kitchen. “I don’t need breakfast mom, I’m ready to go.” Joanie frowned at her daughter. “Yes you do need breakfast. You know your body needs to be fed if you’re going to play soccer well.”
Her children sat at their places, Ben scraping his food into his mouth, Abby eating her food carefully. Having already eaten, Joanie finished her coffee, washed out her cup and gathered her coat and purse, making sure her keys were where they were supposed to be. “Finish up, put your dishes in the sink and let’s go. I’ve got you gym bags in the car already.” Abby sat up straight. “Mom, did you make sure my bee book is in there. I need to read it between practices.” Joanie sighed. “No, I didn’t and on purpose. Today is not for bees. You’ve already read that book at least three times, so I think today, you can take a break. It will still be here when you’re home. Besides you always have fun with the other girls. Having your nose in a book you’ll miss out!” She knew she had to stop before she got angry. Now Abby was frowning. She abruptly got up from the table, put her dishes in the sink and grabbed her coat. Marching out to the car, she threw words at her mother. “I won’t have fun.”
~~~~~
“Mom, I just don’t know what to do! This is the first real argument that Abby and I have had. She was so mad at me for not letting her take that bee book with her. Her grades are dropping, she’s lying to me about finishing her homework, her teacher was talking about her in the lunch room……..” She stopped to take a breath. “Joanie, slow down.” Martha hadn’t seen her daughter like this before about Abby. She and Ben had had their spats but boy troubles were certainly different. “Here’s your tea. Now tell me all about it. Slowly.” Joanie wiped at her eyes and laughed. “ I feel like a little girl, mom.” Laughing again she renewed the story of her troubles “It all started with a biologist.” Martha sat back in her chair “What?! How can that affect Abby’s grades?”
The back door opened and Dez called out “Hello. Anybody home?” She strode into the kitchen. “Oh, good, you’re here Joanie. I was just going to pick up Abby to go to the bee hives.” She stopped when she saw a cloud pass over Joanie’s face. “But I don’t have to, if it’s …..if she’s busy.”
The kitchen was filling with tension. Martha put her hand up. “I’m glad you’re here, Miss Dez. Joanie is worried about Abby. Did you know Abby’s having trouble at school? We were just about to find you how she can do both. Dez immediately felt guilty about how she had been encouraging Abby to get involved, and assumed there were no problems. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t know that I was taking up so much of her time. She always said it was ok with you. I’m glad you and I are here.” Joanie relaxed. “None of this is your fault, Dez. Now that you’re here, can you stay and we can sort this mess out.
~~~~~
The three women spent the rest of the afternoon looking for solutions to Joanie’s problem. They would research the biologist, Joanie and see if he could come out to the estate, Joanie would talk to Abby’s teacher, Dez and Abby would set a little schedule for Abby to come out to the bee hives and Martha, as Abby’s grandma, would be a referee, making sure everyone was doing their parts.
Meanwhile, Abby and Ben had had a fun day with their friends, each of them getting over their sour morning moods. A stop for ice cream, before Barb brought them home, was the icing on the cake, or should I say the sprinkles on the ice cream!
“Sometimes even grown women need their mother’s comfort
so we can just take a break from having to be strong all the time.”
~ Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us
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