Chapter One, Episode 146 - In a Whirl - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

When reviewing any episode, I look for any phrase or sentence that still has a stilted tone to them; too much telling about a picture rather than showing the reader the picture. True also for emotions, it is too easy for me to just say 'nervous' rather than the actions that show 'nervous' (i.e. tapping fingers, twirling a hank of hair, pulling on an earlobe). Of course the actions also need to fit the character's personality. The difficulty? It makes me stop and think! No headaches yet, but lots of looking up of words online or the old fashioned way - dictionary or thesaurus. (Online is easier). 

I reworked sentences in one or two places in this episode. All in all, a fairly good read.

In a Whirl

The feeling that home provided was indescribably comforting. Even if it had come in the form of her mother's cherished pieces of china or a quilt that her favourite aunt had made, or even her father's old tape measure. All these precious things were safe and treasured in her sister's little apartment. Emmie had let them all go. Glad that she had come to Dez’s apartment, she felt at home. 

~~~~~

But still, she could make no sense of it. Her mother had taken care of it all. Emmie and Michael had both been under legal age. In the 1960’s, legal charges could have been brought against Michael. Emmie could have been grounded for a very long time. Emmie pleaded with her mother. “I’ll find a doctor to take care of it, mom. Michael can get me the money. He’s going away to university and we’ll never see each other again. I don’t care about my life but you can’t ruin his!”  But by the time she had told her mother about the pregnancy, it was too late for any of these more drastic and dangerous solutions. In the end, her boyfriend was never told about the baby and she was shuttled away to her Aunt Leila’s on the mainland. Emmie had to go full term to deliver the baby. The baby was adopted. Emmie’s memories from that time were all in a jumble. She remembered her bitter sweet emotions when she walked past the nursery and saw all the babies. Did they all have parents? Was she really too young to be a mother? And now here she was. Confronted with all her old fears and turmoils. Dez watched as Emmie’s face went from worry to sadness and back to worry again. “Dez. What should I do? If she doesn’t have anyone like she says, where are they? Where is the family that adopted her? Didn’t they give her a loving home like mom told me they would? Raise her and make sure she had an education?” Emmie was so caught up in that unhappy and confusing part of her past that she had yet to realize that Carrie was a grown woman, possibly with children of her own somewhere. 

Dez stopped her before more unending questions poured out. “Let’s just take this one step at a time, little Em.” Dez used their father’s favourite name for his wayward daughter. “What happened then, happened. All of your life you’ve been avoiding this, haven’t you? I’ve watched you with Martha’s grandchildren. I’ve seen how you are with Joey. I’ve always wondered about that look you get of longing and tenderness when they are around. Now I think I know.”

Emmie’s phone jingled. She handed it to Dez and started into the kitchen. “Here Dez. You answer it. It’s Jeremy. I can’t talk to him right now.”

Dez gave Emmie a gentle nudge as she walked away. “Make some tea or something, Emmie”……“Jeremy? It’s Dez. Emmy says she can’t talk to you right now. Tell me something good, Jeremy. That this has all been a mistake and you’ve called to apologize to her for turning her world upside down.” 

Dez could hear Jeremy take a deep breath. “No Dez. It’s not a mistake. I’m about to get off shift, but I’m going in to see Mrs. Tyler before I leave. She’s much improved. I think she was seriously dehydrated when she came in and that made it look pretty bad for her. If she’s awake, what do I tell her? She did ask for Emelina before things went south on us.” Dez breathed out a heavy sigh. “Jeremy I don’t know, and Emmie doesn’t want to talk to you.” She hesitated. “Can you hang on for a minute? I’ll talk to her. If I’m not back in five minutes, hang up and I’ll call you back. Will you be in the hospital for a while?” 

~~~~~

Dez touched the hold button and set it down on the coffee table. She really didn’t want to get in the middle of this, but already was. Emmie came to her rescue when she needed her. Now it was her turn to rescue Emmie. “Emmie, Jeremy just wants you to know that Carrie is much better. He does want to know, if she wakes up and asks for you again, what to tell her. We can tell him that he should say he doesn’t know anything more. We can tell him to have a social worker deal with it all - and maybe we should anyway. We can tell him you’ve left the country.” Emmie could hear Dez talking but that wasn’t even making sense. “What? I should leave the country?” Dez was glad that she had finally gotten Emmie attention. “No, Emmie. I just said that to see if you were listening. Now, do you want to tell Jeremy anything?” The teakettle whistled, distracting them both. “I’ll make the tea. Tell Jeremy……tell Jeremy…..to contact the hospital social worker. They may already have done that.” Emmie, relying on her work in charities and at the shelter, knew that a social worker had to be called in. “That’s the way it needs to go. And tell Jeremy I want to see him. It doesn’t have to be today, but I need to talk to him. He wouldn’t know that Michael is the father, because they didn’t meet until they were both in university. That’s all I can think of right now. Can I sleep in your room, Dez?” Emmie left the tea steeping, touched Dez’s arm and walked absently into Dez’s bedroom. “I need to go to bed now.”

“Much unhappiness has come into the world 

because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”

~ Fyodor Dostoevsky