It was a tough one.
A community Choir event ~
pre-scheduled
A four year old’s birthday party
sudden opportunity this morning
Both set for the same time:
no choice?
Both events involved singing:
Beautiful soaring music with
Regina’s Sisters in Song
Happy Birthday song around
the kitchen table with family!
(No photo available)
“Those who wish to sing always find a song.”
~ Swedish Proverb
Schedules are not pretty
lines, boxes,
spread sheets and graphs.
They are handy,
but don’t fit into real life.
Two events that occur at
the same time on the same day -
how do I choose?
Will someone be offended
when I cancel one of the duplicates?
When it comes to
seizure activity for any reason,
schedules dissolve instantly
Epilepsy hasn’t read the memo
about ‘a most convenient time’
So we plan, we avoid risks,
we take our meds,
we shape our lives and
never stop believing
in our own strength.
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule,
but to schedule your priorities.”
~ Stephen Covey, author
(1932 ~ 2012)
Epilepsy walks with me
using the same feet that
carry the rest of my body.
To understand that was not easy.
Epilepsy was in my brain.
Take a pill and seizures will
stop being unpredictable.
Slowly, awkwardly, I learned
that life with epilepsy had
to become a relationship.
A relationship of respect.
Not mutual, but very much
my own responsibility
To understand that was not easy.
Epilepsy is in my brain,
without its own intelligence.
So I am its gate keeper.
“This is your life. You are responsible for it.
You will not live forever. Don’t wait.”
~ Natalie Goldberg
Coming to terms with what?
The weather?
My lot in life?
My past that always seemed
to have a trip wire making
me stumble, stop and think,
choose the how not the why
Of course today,
that ever present present,
still has its trip wires.
Knowing that, I can take my time,
Avoid the stumble; still stop, think
and make better choices
not perfect just better.
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language,
and next year’s words await another voice.”
~ T.S.Eliot
Invisible responses are my own
when no one is around to see
the sudden jerk of my arm,
the blink on and off of consciousness
the drift in a cotton space
that weighs me down
for an hour or a day
with no reason that is visible.
The reason is epilepsy ~
~ tucked neatly inside my brain.
“One bears things because there is no alternative.”
~ C.J.Sansom, Sovereign
Out on a limb
I swing and sway
whether wind is
north or south,
east or west.
I learn to balance,
or just hang on
with faith that
my strength will
keep me safe.
When retirement comes,
and wild winds change,
I’m given a choice ~
to stay out on the limb,
or choose another tree.
“A human being is a deciding being.”
~ Viktor E. Frankl, M.D.
(1905 - 1997)
Health and happiness
Green grass and sunshine
Cool breezes and birdsong
Bare feet in warm sand
Kicking through autumn leaves
Crisp air and hot soup
Snow angels and skating
Frosted trees and blue sky
Bare branches wave softly
Spring gauze of green leaves
Ice cream and sprinkles
Walking in the park
Laughing and talking
Movies and books.
Writing and painting
Designing and shaping
Moments of goodness
Health and happiness
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
~ Confucious
