Just a few more steps before I really learned

Two visions,

grey,

full of terror,

flashed without warning in my mind.......

.....holding one of my sons, preparing to descend

the long flight of basement stairs

on laundry day ~

grand Mal seizure 

flinging my infant 

to the cement ~

devastation or death to my new child and my families.

                       

and then.......

.......aiding an elderly patient to the tiny ld bathroom 

at the very old Regina General Hospital,

kicking away in a grand Mal seizure

crushing frail old bones against

unforgiving ceramic tiled walls,

bringing devastation or death 

to my patient, her family, my colleagues, my employer......

                        

In those moments I knew that to respect and care for 

my family

my patients

my colleagues

and in general my community

choosing self care above all else

would care for others most effectively.

'Attention to detail' ~ a new friend and ally,

the choice that daily shapes my life.

    "When you have to make a choice and don't make it, 
that in itself is a choice"

~ William James

Author's note July 31, 2024:  'grand Mal' seizure has been updated to read 'tonic/clonic' seizure as more medically correct