There were stairs to climb.....

Water colour by Jason Ward

Nursing school  
Marriage

Motherhood

Epilepsy

This is the order they arrived in, all crammed in the span of four years.

But... no pressure! Just deal with it.

Diagnosis: 

    from medical history and an EEG

Prescriptions: 

    two medications.

No time in this life for the seizures that would follow 

    unexpected

    unannounced.

From infancy onward, my children witnessed my violent seizures.

My very young son brought me my medications.

My husband worried.

My whole family worried.

Close friends were pulled into the fray.

Stubbornly, I shouted to those that cared for me ~ "I'm NOT going to have a seizure!"

Fear of the seizures is not in my memory,

Only embarrassment when waking up 

    on the floor,

    or on the couch 

    with family or friends over me asking if I was all right

Epilepsy in the form that I have ~ tonic/clonic seizures (what used to be called grand mal) are terrifying because they involve 

    unconsciousness

    violent convulsing tremors, and 

    loud stertorous breathing, 

    skin colour dark and dusky as powerful neck muscles cut my airway off.

“It was during the night when she had a seizure 

facedown on the pillow,....she passed on that way. 

That’s a very, very small percentage. It’s more important

 to let people know that epilepsy is not fatal.” 

~ John O’Hurley