Shifts
Dez and Emelina seem to have separated for no obvious reason. It was vanity and self esteem on Dez’s part. On Emelina’s part she had just not been paying attention. Weeks had gone by, busy with her own life, she had lost track of how often her sister had been at the estate. She had, in fact, taken for granted that her sister would always be there. That had been Emelina’s old behaviour. Always the centre of attention and if she wasn’t she felt lost. To others it just seemed arrogant and uncaring. To Emelina, she truly did feel lost and neglected. Often didn’t know how or if she could change that so just let herself drift until she felt too uncomfortable or worried about someone or something.
For Dez, she had always been more a tomboy than what her dad called a girlie-girl. She also preferred her independence even as a teenager. In their class year book, she was voted ‘Girl most likely to start a Do It Yourself business.’ So when she realized that she was uncomfortable at the Estate with her reliance on her sister’s well-heeled situation, she had to disappear. She didn’t know she would disappear into her sister’s world of hairdoes and haute couture. The haute couture part was not quite on board, but she did have a few new things in her wardrobe. That was only so she could be presentable at the spa where she worked.
~~~~~
Dez was frustrated. Slamming her fist on the arm of her sofa, she said to no one in particular “If only Samuel hadn’t seen me! He even called out to me. Maybe he thinks I didn’t hear him.” She started to pace. “It was my car! There’s lots of red cars like mine out there - maybe not. Except……my cracked windshield. He keeps telling me to get it fixed.”
Her phone rang. ‘I hope it’s not Em again. I can’t keep avoiding her.” But it wasn’t. Matt Hamilton’s name popped up on the call display. Breathing a sigh of relief, she answered it before it could go to voice mail. “Matt! Hi! Where have you been? How have you been?” A smile wreathed her face. Hearing his low gravely voice always turned her insides over. Her worries about her sister and Samuel vanished “I’ve been off on a fishing trip with some guys. Only a week and didn’t catch much but had a good time. You’ll have to come on the next one. It will be couples this time and I don’t want to feel left out.” Dez’s heart plummeted. So she’d only be a tag-a-long?
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” Matt had heard Dez’s sharp intake of breath. “I mean I want you to be with me.” Silence “Can we drop that? I’m digging myself a hole that I’m not sure I could get out of, Dez. And I’m sorry.”
Dez hesitated. “Okay, we can change the subject. What did you call about, anyway?” She heard Matt clear his throat. “Your sister. She left a message on my phone to call her. Said she couldn’t find you and needed to know you were ok. I was going to call her but decided to call you first. I thought you needed to know.”
Dez wanted to get angry. With Matt for his insensitivity about the fishing trip; with Em for tracking her down like she was her parent. An angry outburst would do no good. That’s what her mother would have told her. “Thank you Matt. I’ll call Em right away.” She was about to end the call. “And Matt, if that invitation to the fishing trip is still open, I accept.
~~~~~
Dez didn’t call her sister. She didn’t change her hair or cut off her gaudy fingernails. She called the kitchen. “Cook? It’s Dez. Don’t say anything. Is my sister out there right now?”
Cook was good at thinking on her feet. This one was no different than any other. Miss Dez and Miss Em needed her. “Yes, sir. The delivery is here for you to pick up. But you’ll need to be here soon or there will be no one here to help you.”
Dez threw on a jacket, finger combed her hair, grabbed her keys and hurried to her old red car with the cracked windshield. A phone call wouldn’t do. She needed to see and hug her sister. They had been separated once and for ten years. Pride, fear, vanity……whatever she might want to call it……were banished. Like an angry outburst, they would do no good either.
“Shift your attention, and your emotion shifts.
Shift your emotion, and your attention shifts.”
~ Frederick Dodson, Parallel Universes of Self
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