an expression I’ve heard for most of my life and have always understood to mean that I had to be very careful around someone with my behaviour because of any unpleasant reactions, such as being yelled at ~ I could list as many as......well, I could list a lot.
There was never a fear that I would have some one break out in fits of laughter, because walking on eggshells is survival for too many in abusive and toxic relationships.
So one day I thought I’d examine the expression and
how it related to accountability.
The image itself of choosing to step on an egg was quite amusing.
Gave me the feeling of a kid who made a mess
just to see how messy it would get.
But that wasn’t the image that fit my feelings
When I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around someone,
I feel like a victim and feel like I deserve to be treated as such!
But I promised myself that I would examine what part I might play in the picture, so I dispensed with the victim role.
Examining any situation, it occurred to me that I plan the scenario!
My victim feelings were hurt even more.
A life habit, it had been learned and practiced for many years.
Often in situations where no one is around to feel sorry for me.
So how do I plan walking on eggshells?
In order to find that out, I needed to see a lighter side,
but see clearly my side of this potentially damaging interaction.
Please bear with these next lines:
I have devised a Five Step plan from this examination for
when walking on eggshells is a necessary, or desired, behaviour.
Step One:
(Skip this step if anything listed is missing from your personal scenario)
Early in a day, maybe throughout a week choose a person (target)
that you’re having to spend time with and are:
a. trying to impress
b. avoid a confrontation with
c. unable to avoid
d. intimidated by
e. has something you want, but can’t have.
Step Two:
(this step does not have to be written down, just stewed about and mulled over):
a. arrange necessary actions and behaviours
b. set little pieces of script ~ what you will say, and how you will say it. (p.s. this step can also be skipped)
Step Three:
a. Take carton of eggs out of fridge
(use of more that one egg is optional and will depend on how much drama is desired.)
b. When said target is present, put egg(s) in front of you, but away from the target.
Place your foot gently on top of the egg(s) without breaking it(them).
(Caution: Multiple eggs require great dexterity and agility, so you might want to try this with just one to start with.)
Step Four (it’s not really a step - just inevitable):
a. The interaction with said target begins with
all previously planned behaviours and scripts backfiring gloriously.
b. Your foot will involuntarily crush the egg(s) unless
you are able to remove foot faster than your reflexes stomp on the egg(s).
(Remember the caution in the Step Three.)
Step Five:
If unable to avoid crushing the egg(s), then you know that the other guy moved the position of the egg(s) causing you to overbalance and splash egg(s) all over the target and force you to clean up shoes, floor and damaged pride. (For multiple eggs, you will have to call in a Haz Mat team)
Lesson for the day - keep the eggs in the fridge until it’s time to make an omelet!
"Our thinking and our behaviour are
always in anticipation of a response.
It is therefore fear-based."
~Deepak Chopra
Brassieres
