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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Courage - Day Two


To continue from last evening
and to move forward out of the mess that I left you in.....

Courage - Day Two

With a fresher face and softer voice, she said urgently, 
‘I’m still feeling really sick this morning but would you tell me when breakfast is, please?
I’m going to try to eat. 
And will I be able to see a social worker today,
find out what I have to do next.
I can’t do this anymore, I miss my children and my family.
I 've screwed up again." Her voice caught in her throat but she continued "I know you’ve heard all this before from me,
but I really will do something different."

Who was this person?
Certainly not the angry, frightened person that
I left only 16 hours before?
There were still pale, dark circles under her eyes, 
under a tired looking and anxiously wrinkled forehead.

The identification band on her wrist said that it was her...
brown hair shiny and damp
hazel eyes clearer,
the same eyes that held me fiercely the day before.
Even the freckles that covered her skin seemed more defined.

What was different?
Clean, smelling of shampoo and soap?
Shaky confidence that she could try one more time?

Oh, it wasn’t the first and we never knew 
if it would be the last time that she, or anyone else, tried 
breaking the vicious cycle of active addiction
leaving behind people and friends she had known for years
learning to build new and healthy friendships
rebuilding frayed and damaged family relationships
finding finances for 
a roof over her family's head, 
food on the table for her children.
We were all only grateful that she had lived to try again,
and that she had made the call on her own.

I reminded her about the risks of
eating too much, too fast
exercising too much, too fast.
resting during the day to conserve this new buildup of energy
to move slowly as her mind raced....

"When the world says, "give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~ Author Unknown

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