A Letter to Sonia

Sonia was slight of physical stature, maybe only about 5’ 2”. In her late thirties, she looked older in her eyes and inside her skin. She often spoke of the need for gratitude. She talked about her pay cheque from the Thrift Store she was managing. Holding up her tiny hands, spreading them apart about six inches, she said - ‘When I get my cheque on payday and see the amount on it, it is so, very, very tiny! I know that I could make much more money where I have come from - and I did.’ She went on to say that she would not trade her sobriety to have that kind of money again, and was grateful for that tiny cheque.

This is my Letter to Sonia ~

Hi Sonia,

It’s been a long, long time since we’ve spoken.  However, you have often been in my thoughts as I go about my work at Detox. How any of you with active addictions, especially those who work the streets, survived as long as you did in such a violent world, continues to amaze me.  Anyway Sonia, this letter is to ask for your wisdom to help those clients that are living the painful life that you knew all too well; walking on the very dangerous paths that you walked.

There are so many beautiful people with good hearts squeezed far too tightly by the lives that they live, behaviour that is unacceptable and frightening. You know that they literally fight to stay alive - not just fighting active addiction, but demons of so much more than the lure of chemicals long after the party is over.  There are so many broken bodies, hearts and minds that need help to pick up the pieces that are strewn around them.  You were one of those people. You became, with much hard work, clean and sober for several years until your early death. For the short time I knew you, I watched you grow comfortable in sobriety and with a sober world that had been so foreign to you.

More of your wisdom that I recall is your unbending belief that we are each responsible for our own behaviour - and if any behaviour was because of intoxication, then an individual was still responsible for the results of picking up that drink or drug of the next round.

I know that you were devout in your beliefs, and that if there’s an AA convention near you, you will be there.  Many people from all areas of my life, some mutual acquaintances of ours, may be there as well.

Please pass on my good wishes to each of them for their daily un-sugarcoated wisdom

Blessings and thank you for your wisdom,

Susan

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things 

which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

~ Epictetus