Vacationing with Gratitude

Vacation is my day job for the next three weeks. 
Good….. Right?
Part Stay-cation and part vacation.
Two short jaunts to see family and classmates.
Scheduled work hours have fallen off my calendar into my lap, 

piling up like soft pillows threatening to smother me with nothingness.
Blank spaces envelop me in suspended animation 

until called to attention by alarm clocks and need.

Abruptly self pity and boredom vanished.
This short span for me is temporary.
Yawning ahead to recovery on the other side of active addiction ~  a chasm with burned bridges and 

the shaky desire to rebuild, 

with rusty scattered tools ~
a mind dry, hesitantly willing to learn
shattered spirits that regenerate slowly.

The blank spaces are not the length of a shift or a pay period
but entire days filled with huge gaping minutes
surrounded by wavering expectations.

Many successes have come from this strained commitment.
Today, I walked on through my bartered minutes with gratitude.

“Every creator painfully experiences the chasm between

his inner vision and its ultimate expression.”

~ Isaac Bashevis Singer