Both Sides

Both Sides

I knew it. What am I going to do? I’ve been fired by other bosses before, but those were jobs I really didn’t care about. I worked so hard to get this position. It hasn’t been just a job, but a position in a part of health care that is close to my heart. There’ve been rumours for weeks about impending layoffs, cutting funding, cutting staff positions. I didn’t believe they would ever reach me. Because I knew…..I just knew…...I’ve been doing an awesome job! I can hear the boss stacking up her papers against me, putting them all in my file. I know she’s talking on the phone to my co-workers to find out all my mistakes. What is taking so long?! Our appointment was for 10 a.m. It’s 10:15. I must look a mess. I’ve been running my hair through my hands, my hands are sweaty, I’ve loosened my tie. Damn! My shoes are all scuffed.

“Mr. Hanson? You’ve been so quiet out here. Mrs. Carson will see you now. “

*****

I need to calm down. I’ll just sit quietly at my desk. Professional and calm. Wasn’t that the way I was taught to speak to my employees? There is already enough turmoil among the staff. Joe is such a good employee. He really cares about his job! How can I fire him? I’ve been through his personnel file. Not a mark on it. His only fault….and not really a fault…...is that he is the lowest man on the roster and I have to cut a position. One more casualty in balancing the budget. I’ll take a few more calls before I have my secretary call him in. No, that is only putting it off. This is my first firing and I am so nervous. Damn! I’m late starting his appointment. I told him 10 a.m.  It’s quarter after 10! All this self talk is giving me a bigger headache than I started my day with. Deep breath. Relax. You can do this.

“Please call Mr. Hanson in, Sylvia.”

“There are two possible endings to every story.”

~ Christie Watson, Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away